Reflections of a Doctor
by bigBEARwarrior
Summary: My twist at how the origin of how simple brilliant Dr. Harleen Quinzell became the sidekick of the most famous criminal in Gotham. The Joker's girl, Harlequin!
1. Chapter 1

Reflections of a Doctor's Mind

Chapter 1

Like a predator studying his prey, my lioness eyes hunger to unlock the clamp tight secrets of the complicated man before me. There on the other side of the one way mirror, many of my colleagues like me observed the psychologist on our staff sit across from the patient. This jane doe appeared normal in person now with his makeup removed and his tainted green hair buzzed short. Actually in a crowd of people, he would seem very attractive with his very tall, lean body, piercing ice blue eyes, and killer smile. But we all knew better. This man had been classified under sociopath meaning he lacked any empathy, couldn't decipher right from wrong, and had a terrible aggressive side. I watched his thin fingers tapping the chair lightly and I knew from observing his social cues, he was already bored with my colleague and only a fit of rage would be soon to come.

Pushing my back against my chair, I thought back how a few years ago I had been specifically seek out by Gotham's Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane to counsel some interesting and challenging patients. Yes me, Dr. Quinzell actually had some remarkable breakthroughs resulting in having the privilege chance, out of many trained doctors, to be selected on this team. And trust me, ever stepping into this room, I had been for many months taking assessments which had been leading me to a few vital deductions.

Besides being classified as a sociopath, I noticed he struggled with paranoia, mostly of the government, and definitely narcissist issues. But beyond that, I realized the man that called himself Joker was very brilliant and extremely dangerous. I could practically sense the man had to have been a part of some kind military service along ago, just by how he was so calculating and he ingeniously used tactics to play on his opponent's weakness.

Smack. My blonde head popped up from the noise to see Dr. Higgs face pressed against the glass by our patient laughing historically. He keep chuckling at his joke, "See that's what I call slap stick." My eyebrow rose a bit as I observed even his skills to fight seemed very refined. _Curious_, I thought. The security rushed in quickly and sedated the Joker.

People seemed to fear him as I glanced around the room flinching from his fit. They were afraid of the horrid mask he used. But in my mind, all I could see was that he was just like many others, an abused insane man.

"Well that was quick," one of my colleagues, Sandra, stated sarcastically. "Want to get lunch?"

Shaking my head, I responded, "Sorry, I have to catch up on paper work."

Sandra frowned, "Oh, come on. You have to come out of your cave sometime. Let's have some fun, you need it." Grabbing my notes, I stood up shaking my head again and Sandra sighed, "Alright I get it. You got a lot of prepping to do before you, our last chance on the team, steps up to the plate."

Pressing my lips together I stated, "I don't know if I'm going to do it."

Sandra was shocked by my sentence, "What? Why? Harleen, you've been studying him so much that it could be to the point it should be called obsession. You have to do it."

Honestly if I was in his shoes, I would be repulsed and make up lies just to toy around people trying to fix me or think I was some kind of freak show. Nope. I needed to plant the bug into the Joker's ear that someone didn't find him fascinating enough. I wanted him to feel curiosity for me.

"I don't know about this one. I think he's chosen who he wants to be and there's no going back." I replied making my way to my office.

"I think you're missing a great opportunity, but it's your life," Sandra said as she rolled her eyes and left me to be.

Sitting into my chair I whispered to myself, "I highly doubt that." The Joker always likes to play games.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

It had only been a week later I was in my office typing a paper when the director, Jeremiah Arkham, knocked on my door. Because he never once smiled, it always made me unnerving. Jeremiah said monotone, "The patient in room 5653 has refused others help and specifically asked for you."

My eyes smile with gleam knowing my plan actually worked. I know that narcissistic side would kick in. Nodding my head in understanding, I started to gather my preparations to face my almost a year fixation. Walking down the hall of Arkham, I had to remember to not be able to lead hints and yet keep him intrigued. I was in for the battle of minds of the century.

Pasting my colleagues ready to see if my turn was to shine, I opened the door. There the Joker sat relaxed in his chair and a slight fraction of his chiseled chin lifted up to see me. Slouching over the table a bit, he smiled. "Harley you came." He chuckled a bit before adding, "What a pleasant surprise." _Did he doubt I come or perhaps by the pride in his voice slightly, I say he was thrilled I took his bait from his invite?_

Keeping my face blank I replied, "Dr. Quinzell. I heard you wanted to see me?"

His ice blue eyes flashed a bit at hearing my full name and I took note into my mind. Every detail counted. He said sitting back in a friendly manner, "Yes I did."

Taking a seat across from his, I said, "What is it that you want?"

The Joker smirked up at me and chuckled, "Well isn't it obvious, I want to talk. Some doctor you are." He licked his lip, "And rumors have it you're the best."

Taking a deep breath, I countered with confidence, "I am." I liked challenging the mad man. "Alright, I would like to ask you these questions, who you were before and what your childhood was like, Mr. J," his lips twitch with humor, "but I've witness many different and possible entertaining tales of you. Putting that all aside, my question is this. Out of all those interesting stories which one appeals to you the most?"

Yes the Joker was baffled a bit by my twist of questions each of my colleges had asked at one point in their sessions, but I could tell by the shift in his chair to the left side he was intrigued by my off the wall topic. Leaning forward, he rubbed his chin thinking for a while.

As his eyes shift to the mirror he then said mocking, "I have to say my favorite was the one of going to the circus and getting abused by my father repeatedly. Clowns always seem to put a smile on people's faces." I didn't smile to give him the satisfaction, and he added, "I guess not everyone. Like you said baby I could tell a millions of stories, but the bottom line is this, "he became more dark and sinister, "who cares in the end."

_I do_, I said in my mind as I stared into his cold eyes that froze my body in place. Not in fear, but from something else. His eyes slightly softened a bit as if he could read my last thought and I was able to shift my eyes down to my note pad. Writing a few notes, I nodded my head and got up to leave.

The joker said curious, "That's it."

I cocked my head back asking, "Is there more you like to input?"

Mr. J smirked, "I guess till next time, then my dear."

I never really got an answer as to why he favored that story; though I have a hunch when he told that particular tale he only did it to get a rise from my colleagues. But what I did discover was much more, in my opinion; his past would forever be a mystery. He chose to let it go a long time ago, because like he said no one cared who he was.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Since my first session was relatively a success, I was allowed again to proceed with another one. Today I knew I wanted to continue that theme of no one cared who he was. I had a hunch why this ordinary man had taken on a different identity. But why the Joker symbol seemed to be his outlet, plagued my mind.

Taking my seat again from across the table, I said pulling out a deck of cards. "I heard around the street, you like to play games?"

The Joker smirked tapping his fingers together in front of him, "More than most I must say. What do you say to playing a game, darling?"

Shuffling the deck not gracefully, I responded, "How about a simple game. I haven't played in ages. Crazy eights? War perhaps?"

He stared at me long and hard knowing I was setting up for something. He finally replied in a low tone, "How about Rummy."

My eyes bounced up unsure, "Rummy?" I never really got to play many games as a child, being so involved in my schooling and gymnastics, but trust me when I said this; I had been researching many card games before entering the room.

"You never play it before," the joker sounded quite bemused and I faintly blushed which made his head slightly turn in fascination. Calling for the deck to be placed into his hands, he shuffled the cards like a professional and divvied out seven cards to each of us. _Did he work for a casino at one point or possibly played cards and gambled a lot?_

He smirked a bit, "My brothers used to love to play card games all the time." I ignored that comment, knowing that he could be lying. With his finger prints brunt off, the idea of finding a connection to his past or a family member was slim.

"The game is relatively simple my dear. The ranking from high to low is King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9…and so on till Ace. Ace is one. The basic goal of any form of rummy is to build melds, which consist of sets, 3 or 4 of a kind of the same rank," he demonstrated placing 4 hearts, clubs and spade down on the table, "or runs of three or more cards in sequence of the same suit." The joker fluently flipped the cards of 7, 8, 9, clubs. He finished by saying, "We must build points to a high score of let's say 100."

Picking up my cards after the Joker explains the game, I accidently laughed. Glancing up to the Joker, his head again is tilted to the side slightly annoyed, "What's so funny? I didn't tell any Jokes?"

I tried to hide my unprofessional outburst by asking as I flip one card over. "What do I do with him?" There in my hands was a Joker.

Smiling more so, he touched my hand gently as if it was unfamiliar territory and then quickly pulled the card out of my hand. Analyzing it very intently, he asked me a question now, "Don't you know? Jokers are a wildcard." His chuckle rang throughout the room, "They can be anything you want."

He stared directly at me making me feel like he was searching my soul. I barely whispered out, "All I know is Jokers in most card games can either be extremely beneficial or extremely harmful. What's your take on it?"

Calculating again on my surprising question, I noticed his body shift forward when the thrill of challenging his mind. "I guess time will tell, my dear Harley."

"It's Harleen," I paused trying to show any more emotion against that name, "I mean Dr. Quinzell. Please don't call me that." I had finished lamely, but I knew he found a chink in my armor and it only be a matter of time he try exploring it. Damn it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"So Mr. J, there are a lot of rumors as to why you pulled that stunt on March 24. Kidnapping two children and trapping them into two different burning homes." Straightening my back in the chair, I said boldly, "I feel it's beneath you to just kill children for fun. There had to be a point to this exercise? Am I correct?" _Was it just a distraction for him to rob a bank or was there more? Like exploring Gotham's holes in its system or trying to make a point of something he cared about? So many questions._

He smiled up at me, "So clever as usual. Most people do see it as just a spring killing, but I was doing Gotham a favor. Do you know who those boys were, Harley?"

I sigh in frustration at his continuation of calling me that, but I wasn't going to be derailed and have the conversation turn as to why I hated that name. "It was James Mills and Caleb Price."

The Joker straightened up as well being impressed, "Hmm…most people don't know who both of them are."

Glancing up to his hypnotic eyes, I responded, "I read it in the news."

He continued say as he nodded, "Many only know Caleb, the governor's son and James; well he's an unknown homeless boy. I gave Gotham the chance to save both of them. But Gotham failed. I'll give you three guesses who didn't made it. Guess."

"I read it in the newspaper-" I responded and he seemed unpleased suddenly as he lashed out, "I said guess!"

"Alright James."

"No, guess again."

I stared at him confused and replied, "Caleb."

The Joker reeling in at his fun and making me slightly frustrated, "Oh, darling you can do better. Guess again."

Keeping my face dead pan to his wicked smile, I responded, "The Joker."

His lips twitched as he placed his hand on his heart, "That hurts Harleen. Wrong."

Sitting back into my chair, I asked, "Then who didn't make it?"

"You," he lounged at me and in quick reflex I kick his face and he fell back to his chair. The guards bust in while the Joker laughed.

Glancing up at me he said innocently, "What it was a joke. Like I actually hurt you, Harley."

Putting my hand out, the guards stood their ground, I asked, "What's your point?"

Becoming serious from my lack of laughing he responded, "No one cares about us. They only care for who's the most important." He grasped my hand and said desperately, "Don't you see Harley, I stage a show of a life time. Revealing the true scum of our government."

I attentively waved a guard away with my other hand, "You hate the government?"

The Joker searched my eyes and asked, "Wasn't there a time the government failed you?"

I didn't want to re-live those horrible memories I stuffed in the deepest darkest part of my mind, but he caught me by surprise.

_Sitting in the corner of the living room, I sprawled out on the floor with all my books. Being accustomed to the dirt, mildew, and the pungent smell of alcohol, a new scent of fried chicken roamed our small trailer as my mother cooked dinner. Everything was okay. I felt slightly at ease with her hymning, that's until the screen door crashed open._

_Staggering into the room, my drunken father rushed an attack at my mother. Yelling and screaming occurred as beat her to the ground for not making a meatloaf. The slam of the pan hitting her skull made me want to hide. And before I knew it, my father stood up from her unconscious body and pointed the pan at me. "Get those fucking bbbbooks out-of he-re? You think you're go-i-ng som-ewhere in life? Fuck no…you're toooo st-u-pid."_

_He whipped the pan at me as I ducked scattered my schooling together. _

Snapping out, I tried regaining my balance. Yes, the government fucked me over once. Never did they intervene, a mother and then a child being abused. Apparently no one did care for a drunken crack whore's wife and their off spring.

Immediately I could tell he knew something had trouble me and he whispered, "You see I'm not so bad. I'm just pushing the envelope, challenging those money grubbers to finally act."

Jotting down in my notes I wrote, _us._ This one particular word was very curious part for me. Even though everything could be fantasy or a genius mad man's actual plan, one thing never seemed to change. He always referenced back to that one simple word.

_Us._

Making a far fetch statement, I asked, "I've noticed you have combat skills? Are you trying to protect yourself from the government? Or did you have some former training in the military?"

The Joker threw back his head in laughter making me retract my previous thoughts. He leaned in smiling, "I can never get over how you're always so curious. I like that."

Biting my lip, I scowled myself at leading him to say the answers. My mission would be a bust and I be kicked off the project.

Staring at my hands, the Joker said reserved, "A gun is a gun. People assume a gun kills people. But really it's the dangerous men behind it. That simple pencil could become a murder weapon; I could just jam it into your beautiful baby blue eyes. It's in all how you use it. Anyone could do it."

_Fuck. He answers in another riddle_, I thought desperate for our session to not end.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Walking into my apartment, I threw my car keys at the desk hard. I knew my head wasn't on straight because I wanted to throw more, yell on to top of my lungs. I had just lost the best candidate of my career and I blew it because I got in too deep. I craved more, more knowledge of how his beautiful complex mind worked. How those ice blue eyes just made my heart skip when seeming to pierce my soul. He had me and I was trapped under his spell. He knew I wanted more.

Tossing my coat on the couch, my blonde head finally popped out of my deep thoughts noticing my boyfriend, Jared Whitman, a man that recently quit drugs. He stared at me with stoic expression and I asked concerned, "What's wrong Henry?"

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked still straight faced.

I shook my head at his absurd question, "Of course I am. Why would you say that?"

Jared pulled out a bunch of papers and threw them to the ground hard. "What are all these? They are littering all the walls in your office." He possibly might have an insecurity issues as well. A thing I want to help him cope with.

"These are for work Jared," I said even though in the back of my mind, the more pictures I had of this fascinating man, the more I felt like I could connect with him on a deeper level.

Jared grabbed my wrist and said, "No, you like him." I tried not to flinch from his hand tighten around my wrist.

"No I don't."

His bulging eyes seemed not to believe me as he hissed, "I don't want you working with him. Whoever he is."

My wrist was being crush as I said, "I won't. I'm off his case."

Jared stepped back and let go of my arm. He began to laugh, "You were falling in love with a lunatic. Classic Harleen."

An outburst erupted from my mouth before I could stop, "He's not a lunatic! He's just has been abused. Misunderstood. That beautiful man is-"

He took a vase and broke it suddenly. "What did you say?" it was a rhetorical question and he continued to say, "You are mine. And I will kill you if you say that again. No more with this man." He rose up and tried to scare me by almost hitting my face, "Because I will not hesitate to intentionally hurt you."

Nodding my head in agreement, Jared turned away and said, "Here's our month's rent. I got to get back to work."

Leaning against the wall, tears traced sown my face. Jared had threaten me a million times, but today was too real. He fricken broke a glass bottle at me and I felt unsafe. The worst part was, I had nowhere to go to be safe. I glanced over to a picture of my father and my mother before having me and I was becoming desperate. Maybe my father would protect me after all he did owe me when paying all this gambling debt. Maybe he could protect me from this nut.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Standing before my father, holding his bottle of beer while reclined in his green crap of a chair, I waited for his answer at my request. His brown glazed eyes finally land on me with a smile. My father shook his head no and responded, "Doll face you're an asset and always be one whether you like it or not. Jared and I have been business partners a while and I can't upset him by taking you away from him."

My father stood up and towered over me, thus making me nervous as if I was a child again. "It goes like this pumpkin. If he wants to hit you," He suddenly back hand my cheek propelling my body to tumble into the wall. He continued to say cold, "He can hit you. If he wants to call you a fucking whore." I staggered and clawed the wall trying to get my bearings, but my head still pulse with pain and confusion. "Then you'll be a fucking whore."

Trying to swipe him away, his body pinned me against the wall and his drunken tongue shovel down my throat. In defense, I clamped down on the bastards tongue with my teeth. He yelled in pain and in anger threw me twice up against the wall. He yelled in anger, "Bitch, if he wants you, he'll have you any way." Holding me still I could feel I was on the verge of becoming unconscious.

Wanting it to be over, my father wasn't done with his game as he pulled out a recently burnt cigarette from the ash tray. "And if he wants you to burn." I shriek with his hand over my mouth when he pressed his lit cigarette on my chest. "Then you'll burn," he said menacing. Staring right in my own burning eyes of hatred, my father whispered, "That's what you mean to me, doll face." My world was completely spinning around now and I couldn't tell up from down. It honestly was the last thing I could remember before retreating into the dark.

My blue eyes stared mindlessly at the familiar ceiling. I could feel my whole body scream from the ache, where the sting of cigarette bud once laid, and the taste of revolt and alcohol just made me want to vomit. But out of all those negative things, there was one positive attribute I did notice. It was quiet. And my only guess was my father was gone.

Sitting up cautiously, I turned my head over to the green chair he was so accustom to and I blanch out in shock. Trying to compute the image before, I stared at the horrific sight of my father dead in his chair. My mind could only do so much and so I only seemed to take details in. I had suddenly been wearing gloves. How there was a knife stuck into the chair only an inch from his head. The words, Drunk bastard, carved into his chest with many burned cigarette burns. And vomit littered the floor from him eating lots of money and poker chips.

I grabbed my head at the sudden jolt of memory, or maybe a dream of what the murder did. I wasn't sure.

_I was the perspective of the murder and I held a gun in my hands and waved it around playfully. "Come on daddy dearest, you can eat more than that. That greedy mouth could probably suck a whole bank down." The petrified man before me ate paper money and tried chewing and swallowing wooden chips. Splinters were evident on his tongue. Putting another mouthful of a dollar into his mouth, he puked a sickly green and blue color chunks. My father begged and cried with his chest bleeding the true words etched in his skin, "Please, please, Harleen, I'll do anything. Just make it stop. I, I,I promise to never hit you-"_

_In this outer body experience I pouted my lips, "Oh sweet baby, we've only just begun. I have so many ways to show you how much you mean to me." I would have never recognized the voice because it didn't sound like me. Instead my voice was different, menacing, playful and very confident. And as how scary this scene was, I was kind of enjoying how the man that use to abuse me both verbally, physically and sexually was no cowering before me feet._

_ "Please Harleen, forgive me-"_

_ I cocked back the gun and_ _yelled, "My name is Harley. Harley. Like Harlequin. My name is Harley. Got it!"_

Retreating from the room, I bolted out of the screen door and got into my car frantic. _I couldn't have done that!_ I turned the ignition on and began to drive away. _Even if I didn't remember doing it, Harley did, I was still at the scene, _thoughts fired at me rapidly. _An hour had passed and I needed an alibi just in case things went south._ Pulling into down town, I parked into an empty lot and began to walk the streets of Gotham.

That's where I found a barrel a homeless guy was using to burn my gloves on this cold afternoon and I walked further down to see a man selling hot dogs. Ordering friendly, I asked politely how his day was and he responded in full detail how his family had just moved here. He then asked me as well my day had been and I planted my lie. "Oh, nothing really much. I just visit my father. He's a recovering alcoholic, but he was showing many great signs of improvement." I gave a small laugh and added, "I was going to get him a hot dog too, but he told me he has some friend's coming over."

"Oh that's too bad. These hot dogs are the best. I make my own chili from scratch." The man said with happiness and pride.

After taking a bit, I replied, "Oh my goodness, these are delicious." My mind thought, _I don't even feel like myself even after the incident. I felt off. _"Oh do you by chance know what time it is?" I asked hoping I wouldn't be wasting my time for an alibi.

He responded, "Ah, no. I don't have a watch, I'm afraid."

Finishing my hotdog, I swatted my hand playfully, "Oh, no that's fine. I'll figure it out."

Fishing through my purse, I grabbed a few dollars and said in pretend awe, "Oh, my cell phone batter is slightly alive." I glanced at the time of almost being 2:15. "It's almost one." Smiling up to the concession stand I said giving a tip, "Thank you for the hot dog. It was delicious."

After that devious plan to save my butt, I drove back home quickly and walked in to find Jared watching television. He asked suspicious, "Where have you been?"

Leaning against the couch I kissed his cheek and responded, "I went to my father's house and then got some lunch before coming home." I started for our room and said, "I'm going to take a shower."

I was set. I just hope no clues or evidence would lead me to be convicted. Though, could I be blamed when it honestly wasn't me so to say? Maybe, Jared was right. Maybe the crazy's were rubbing off onto me.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7:_

_My father shook his head quietly._

"_Good sugar pop. Now before we play our finally game, I like to say thanks for teaching me so much doll face; having the constant pressure to be perfect and agility in gymnastics, teaching me how to use a loaded gun, and to not blink an eye when it comes to violence. I'm more dangerous now than ever." My gloved hands went over to the draw pulling out two guns. Turning away from him I said cheery, "Now don't do anything stupid or else I'll have to blow your brains out. And we would want more of a mess," My body turned back to him and said, "Would we pumpkin?" I cracked up at my sick joke._

_ My father lips pressed together as Harley explained, "I have two guns for you, and one holds a bullet while the other nothing. You pick a gun and put it against your head. If it's empty, you're free to go and I have to shoot my own head. But if you chose wrong, well, the game will be over for good." Holding out two guns, I made him pick with shaking hands and said mocking, "You sure?" His wide eyes look at me with uncertainty._

_ Taking the gun I favored and had been threaten him with the whole time, I pointed directly at his head. I said, "You first daddy." _

_The gun shook violently as it finally pressed to his head. "How do I know you're not lying?"_

"_Oh snookums, Harleen never lies," I said with glee. "If you don't pull it, I'll kill you. At least with this other way, you have a chance to live."_

_Closing his eyes, he finally pulled the trigger back and he lost. "Oh shucks. The games are over." Smiling at my dead father, I pulled out a bullet from the other gun destine for me. "So stupid. I never said Harley didn't lie."_

Waking up in a heavy sweat, I jolted up feeling my heart rapidly throbbing into my chest. _Why was I having these terrible nightmares? Did these things happen actually happen?_ I was so confused. But I was reassured after the cops investigation they had no evidence that I could be the murder. No instead, they ruled it out to be a drug/gambling related issue. _Still why did I have theses detailed dreams of how I knew what happened? I had to be crazy now._ Because in the back of my mind, there was only one person I felt that could understand me. And his name was the Joker.

Slipping away from Jared in bed, I nervously got dressed for work. It seemed too hard for me to concentrate as my mind kept buzzing around with thoughts. I had to talk to the Joker. I need his guidance because I just knew he wouldn't judge me. _How could a crazy person criticize another one showing signs of losing it? Right?_ I thought clouded with confusion.

When I finally arrived at work, I already had my goal and as usually I did my routine in my office. Well, besides hacking into the system and re-running the Joker's footage. It wasn't till lunch time was around, that I accidently bumped in to security guard named Kenny, that I knew would be taking his unofficial break again. As I apologized, I slipped the access key into my pocket easily and strolled quietly to room 5653.

As I stepped into his room, I believe the Joker was more astonish and curious to see me on his own turf. I smiled a bit knowing it's hard to surprise a genius. "Harley, what did I do to have the honor of your arrival since you've been fired to see me?"

Yes, curiosity definitely was eating him up knowing I was breaking rules to see him. See him alone. With no guards. Or anyone knowing my whereabouts. Like I said before I didn't feel like myself. Moving further into the room, I asked, "Who was your first kill?" I paused as his head titled and I added, "What did it make you feel?"

His mind was reeling to figure me out. _Could he believe me to be a murder?_ "I've killed a lot of people my dear. It's kind of blur by so many. Do you mean my first bank kills, first cop kills, first druggie kills, first prostitute kills, or first kill of teen nuisances?" His ice blue eyes that thrilled me, never dropped away from me. He circled my body around and asked, "Or do you mean when I was younger? I killed my pet by accident." His eye brow rose trying to fish a hint out of me.

The Joker's face went darker as he studied my soul. "I had killed my own mother." My lips parted and I could feel my face blanch color away. Feathering his fingers over my face, my heart fluttered. He murmured in admire, "The tone of your skin is so much like ivory." I am his, eating anything out of his palm.

My lips whispered, "How?"

The Joker smiled at giving his wisdom, "My mother wasn't a woman you could say would get the mother of the year award. Instead of loving me, like I should have been, I became her punch bag. Pushing me and pushing me. Telling me what I couldn't do. Later on I beat her to the punch." He chuckled at his joke and I smirked a bit.

My hand traced my collar bone to where the scarring burn laid sore. _He did deserve it_, I thought back to the actions of my father. The Joker was in front of me and moved my collar shirt away a bit. I didn't stop him. I wanted him to know I felt his pain. His eyes stared at the burn with foreign emotions swirling in his eyes. Resentful for sure. Flabbergast was another. But the last emotion I couldn't tell. His lips pressed together before saying, "Abuse is a strong issue with me."

Yes the abuse had taken a toll on me. I had been turn into a careful creature of habit, a person that got anxiety by a slight change in my routine, or emotionally I withdrew away from an uncontrollable situation. For so long I had felt weak and hated myself. Always trying to prove my father wrong and gain his acceptance. God, I still hated the woman I become. But the woman in my dreams, crazy in her way, was the opposite of me. Strong, happy, and free. _Did he feel the same?_

"No, I mean how did it feel?"

The Joker traced his finger from my collar bone to my bruised shoulder. A shiver of pleasure threatened to be released. He replied, "When she died, I had peace and quiet."

Getting up to leave the cell, I stopped when hearing my Joker added, "Harleen, I never hurt you intentionally, though to be honest, I am dangerous. I will hurt you. Psychotic fits of yelling and hitting are a part of me. But know it baby, I never do it intentionally."

I glanced back into his sincere eyes and I asked, "Why Harley? Why do you have a connection to this word? Did you know someone named that?"

The Joker seemed puzzled by my twist in thought, "Always curious questions. I don't know? Hmm…a troubling question, I never notice I had an attachment to it." He began to chuckle, "I guess I like it. You are just my Harley."

For the first time in my life, I wasn't furious to hear the name like I was throughout my childhood. How two girls would constantly pick at me for being poor and smart. Now that I look back at it with my training I say she was out lashing from probably her own abuse. They called my life a joke. I was the Harley, the Harlequin of the school.

I smiled as my stomach fluttered butterflies. I really like the way he called me his Harley.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

In truth Harlequin, the name had formed throughout my high school torment, had slowly been adopted by me to work for my life. At one point in my life, my poor circumstances seemed to be crushing my dreams to focus on my studies. And to add on, my father's constant negative feelings repressed me, I had to escape. So besides trying to get a college degree, I worked two jobs stressfully. And it was to the point when life hit me hard by letting my car die and losing a job I couldn't drive too, desperation surrounded me. And that's when Harlequin had been born. Dressing up in a costume I made throughout the night, I painted my face crazy black and white makeup and popped in black contact lens I got for Halloween that year.

I have robbed many places very successfully. The biggest robber I had accomplished, well I had help when I bumped into a cat burglar, and earn over a million dollars. You can say after that I was able to go to college and live in apartment in harmony. But it all started with robbing my first conviennce store.

_I was beyond nervous, anxious and honestly I wasn't sure if I could really do it. With no one in the store, I walked with my head slightly down toward the register. Glancing up the man was confused and slightly unsure seeing my outfit. He said, "We don't do halloweeners here." _

"_Give me all your money," I said trying to sound intimating._

_I could hear my inner self laugh with the man chuckling before me. He said, looking back at the football game, "Go home kid." _

_And snap. I could feel my different person I created in my mind, Harlequin step up. She wouldn't take that! Drawing a gun to his face, I said bubbly as my voice changed, "I think you should change your mind, doll face?" He stared at me unsure and I said, "Oh, so you want to play a game."_

"_Ennie," I throw a magazine rack down, "meanie" I pushed the crap off across the counter, "Minnie," I flipped over the counter and smack my leg around hitting his face. The gun lay right at his head again only closer, "Mo." _

_Quickly he threw money into the bag I carried and then I strapped cable ties to his arms and legs to the chair. Feeling still rebellious, I asked seductively on his lap, "Why such a frown?"_

_ The guy was scared as I traced a smile on his face with lipstick. "Better."_

Glancing down at a picture of what once were me and Jared, I had replaced his face with my Joker. It gave me hope. The door suddenly opened from my study and I tried hiding the picture, but it was too late. Jared face became livid as he ripped the photo from my hand.

Grabbing my hair, he pulled my out into the living room. Jared grabbed a picture of us off the table and threw the frame to the ground. Glass shattered onto the floor and he bent my head down. "You want him or me?" He yelled and pressed my face to the glass. Crying out loud I could feel his hand grasping a big piece of glass slowly poke into my skin. "Say it! Say it, say it now!"

"I, I…" I couldn't concentrate and I yelled, "Him!"

Jared flipped my face up toward him, "You want him; this fucker with a messed up face. Let me help you," he growled as he dug the piece of glass across my cheek while I screamed and kicked. Dropping me back to the ground, I held my cheek in pain. "Never see him again," he threatened leaving me cringing on the floor.

The only thing echoing in mind was a small voice saying, _Harley, I never hurt you intentionally, though to be honest, I am dangerous. I will hurt you. Psychotic fits of yelling and hitting are a part of me. But know it baby, I never do it intentionally._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Sitting back with my eyes closed, I tried breathing in and out. I could hear the door open behind me and I waited silently as his cautious footsteps approached. In my peripheral vision, I watched my Joker walking around the chair in order to see me. He said, "Let me ask you a question Harleen. Do you know what you get when you put Harley and Quin?"

As his eyes finally lay in front of me and I smiled at his humor. "Harelquin. I know."

His eyes bugged out when seeing the recent carve into my porcelain skin he loved so much. And like a switch his shock, turns to almost impassive except, his scrunched eyebrows slightly indicating infuriation. His finger slowly trailed my cut and the man I was in love with asked glancing into my eyes, "Everyone had asked me about my scars, but you never did once."

I placed my hand over the Joker's hand making him uncomfortable and replied, "I just don't see them." Reaching out to the Joker's scared face, he slapped my hand away. I was unfazed by his reaction and said pleasantly, "Thanks to my boyfriend, we match."

The words rolled off this tongue as if it was a foreign word. "Boyfriend?" Cracking his neck the Joker replied with a smile, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Darkness suddenly cloud his mind, "Why did he do this to you?"

I blushed at the thought and before I knew it, I could feel something shift inside me. I was present, but not in control of my actions. Harley had finally come out to play. She smiled brightly and leaned forward and said boldly in her accent, "You pudding pop."

Tilting his head beyond confused, she said more confidently, "Don't you know I'm crazy about you Mr. J. My stupid, soon to be ex, didn't get it and left me this present. But, to tell you the truth, I kind of like it."

The Joker was in a defensive stance and yet his ice blue eyes were extremely interested. She continued to say, "You seem confused baby. I'm your Harley, your Harlequin and I've been waiting to meet you for a long time. But you know Harleen, always a stiff and a bore. Blah, blah, blah. Rules."

The Joker smiled at us and began to laugh and laugh wiping tears away. "The mad doctor has been treating her crazy patients. Wow, you really can't make this shit up. Priceless."

My body stood up on the chair playfully balancing on the top and said, "But she's been taking notes from the most genius man. Really I've been learning from you Mr. J." Harley flipped off the chair and said, "You were right, people don't care for us. That's why my father had to go. If it wasn't for me, Harleen be dead."

"Pity, I never got to say bonvoyage," the Joker chucked as he continued to say, "Next time you'll have to invite me to the party. My jokes are a real killer."

Harley squeaked in joy at his idea of wanting to be with her. Circling around her obsession and batted her eyes, "Mr. J, do you trust me?"

His lips smirked at this new discovery and replied, "Of course I do kid. I never knew you had such an lovable side."

Harley suddenly squeezed him in a tight hug and pressed her lips over his. Even though her Joker fought to escape with her arms, his mouth fiercely kissed back to Harley's intensity. As he went to swipe her off, Harley gracefully ducked and flipped back away.

"Do you like it? " Harley asked boldly and Mr. J scanned our body from down to up and responded, "Yes and no."

Her lips pouted and Harley sat away from him, "I guess you don't think I'm good enough."

I couldn't tell what the Joker was doing behind our back, but if I had a hunch he was probably pretending to choke us with frustration.

Peeking around, Mr. J's eyes were lit on fire both from rage and the sudden passion between us. Harley giggled back with glee at my observation and said sweetly, "Promise we'll find each other again."

"Why would I promise? I can't leave and you're not leaving me soon," Mr. J observated.

She stepped closer to him again and his body tensed when Harley's finger's trailed his shirt, "Because, hunny, you are leaving soon," Harley pulled out the access key from his shirt pocket. She kissed his lips one more time and said, "Good luck Mr. J."

And like that, we left him after he swiped us out of the room and went back to my office as if it was a normal day. It wasn't till later that night, the sirens went off and the place shut down that we knew our Joker was long gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

One year later….

A lot of things had change since the escape of the Joker, Gotham's most wanted criminal. For one, the police had escorted me home, along with the other psychologist's who dealt with the Joker, as a precaution. But honestly I had no worry. As Officer Cory, walked me to my door he pushed me aside. I stared at him confused as he placed his finger over his mouth. The door was jarred open and he slowly called his partner and they both walk inside. After a few moments, I didn't care what they had instructed me to stay. I was in no threat, well except with my ex. _How was I going to escape that one? I'll kill you, _his ridge voice echoed in my head_._

Tip toeing through the foyer, I notice the two cops calling in back up and then my eyes finally landed as to what the one cop was starting to heave about. In the center of the living room, my boyfriend was displayed with many deep cuts all over his body, especially the deadly one across his neck. Officer Cory said in disgust, "He must have been tortured for hours until they finally finished him off."

The Officer, who was trying to compose himself, passed up one of the many picture frames littering the floor with flower petals. Officer Cory eyes bulged out as I demand, "What is it?"

They both now aware of my presence and he said, "Dr. Quinzell, we should get you out of here. You shouldn't be exposed to this."

I yelled stubbornly, "Show me!"

Shrugging his shoulder to Officer Cory, he handed me a picture. Like the one I had created with Joker's face before Jared's attack, now every picture we had own, had the Joker's face covering Jared.

The officer pulled my stun self away from the crime scene as more back up arrived. As they went to observe the scene, I stood on the front porch with a few protective cops by my side. I should have been disgusted, angered, or even frightened, but I decided to be honest with myself. I was in awe. Mr J. made time in his escape to think of me; of my well-being from my possessive boyfriend who wanted me dead. A smile threatened to show as the last thought enveloped my head. He cared for me.

For seven months the police had put me under witness protection program, made me quit my job at the asylum and monitored my life thinking the Joker had formed a more personal bond with me. The theory was rather intriguing; how the Joker was stalking me and was slowly wiping out any of my connections in life; my ex-boyfriend and also my father. I felt a great pride they accused my handy work for my Joker.

But after the end of a year was coming to a close and nothing to report, the police had let me to my own demise and dealt with other leads to the Joker.

And now, I had a shift as a waitress at a small café and I just played a low profile in a small apartment I rented from. Clicking on the news, I waited to hear good news that my baby was alive and well. The news announcer began, "In breaking news, there are leads as to where the mentally instable murder escapee, called the Joker, is on the run. They have shut down certain part of the south eastern corner of Gotham and the police ask citizen's to stay home and lock your doors and windows. Do not let anyone in at this time…."

"My poor poosie," I yelled as I threw a shoe at the television. "What if they catch you again? You can't go back there. You deserve to be free."

My face scrunched up feeling Harleen say, "And what can we do?"

I turned away from the mirror and said annoyed, "Oh shut up. You never had a back bone in your life. Joker needs a girl like me and you know it."

Tempted to glance back at the mirror, my face was crying. I knew Harley was right. My baby needed Harley on his side. She was a strong and fierce woman he would want. Ripping through boxes in my closet, I panicked trying to find my old past. As my hand grazed over the silk material, a smile graced upon my face. I lay on my bed, I could feel Harley not very thrilled at my once theatrical days. The whole one suit and jester hat really did fit our taste now. I wanted something different. Grasping for my sewing machine, threat and scissor like a mad woman on a mission.

By the time it was six o'clock in the morning, I had created a master piece. I had now, half red and black skin tight pants. The once high neckline and long sleeve shirt was now transformed into a seductive vest tied in the front. The white ruffles on my old suit that made the collar and cuffs now went around the upper part of my vest creating off the shoulder sleeves. Making long sleeve gloves from the extra material, I slide over leather gloves to protect my hands. Completely the look I use the black jester shoe material and stitch them to my black ankle high boots.

Feeling more alive, seeing my costume fully on, I raced to the costume makeup I bought when I was in college. Like the Joker, I caked on white over my whole face, then smeared black in the whole eye socket area and dragged my black fingers down my cheek. Drawing a smile line on both sides of my mouth, I accentuated my lips in the shape of a heart. And as last touch, I ran the bright color red over my scar. With my high pigtails displaying the recent tip dye of red and black and a holster to hold the gun I stole from my father, Harlequin was ready for the world.

Perfect.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

"Joker, I can't hold them off anymore," one of his loyal thugs yelled as Joker lay at the floor trying to comprehend after the bomb explosion. A sharp piece shard stuck out the dying thug, but he didn't seem to notice with death consuming him. Instead he rumbled on how the recent crew Joker had added on had betrayed them. Another drug lord wanted to eliminate the competition.

"I get the point," the joker laughed as he kicked the metal piece further in his heart and grabbed the gun from his hands.

Before the Joker could shoot, five of his traitors tumble and rolled toward the Joker tied up in big red bows. Lowering his gun, I walked out into the lit room holding my handgun at them.

"Like the presents Mr. J," I called out. With a smiled at my stun Joker and I ran to hug him. Again I felt the Joker tense, but this time it didn't feel like a coil ready to snap. Instead he gently peeled me off of him and I said, "Baby cakes, are you alright? Were you injured?"

"I'm quite grand sweetheart. Maybe just blown away by your new looks." He kicked one of the betraying thugs unconscious, "So who do we have today? Harleen or Harley?"

Doing a few cart wheels into a back flips to the Joker; I stood beside him, "The new, improved Harley, Harelquin." Kissing his kissable cheek I whispered, "And she's never leaving you alone again."

The Joker piercing blue eyes shot up at my calculating, before a relaxing smile claimed his face. "Harley, you're always welcome here. Come here." I squealed in joy as I got my first hug from my love. He whispered, "It's so hard to find loyalty in this world. But I know you never betray me."

I shook my head, "Mr. J I die before I betray you."

The Joker smiled, "I know," he poked my nose, "and that's one thing I love about you."

And that's where our duo team begun and we created a world to enjoy my Joker's jokes.


End file.
